Quote of the week.

~What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?

~ (I don't know)

With a little help from....

as well as.....

Who am i?

My photo
I'm a wife and a mother of 4. I began my 'journey' at 149+ kilos. 8 weeks ago i finally broke the magical barrier of 130 that had confounded me for so long and weighed in at 129.2. Stupid me though, i self sabotaged again and let family issues close me off to the world and i am now 134.6 again and rareing to do anything it takes to get back into new territory.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

First free day

I woke up this morning, had a scraping of jam on a slice of toast as i had run out of oats and then took myself off to a super session.
I felt very lethargic re; the gym today. It may have something to do with staying up late with the hubby, but although i didn't put in quite as much 'oomph', i got the job done still.
It was the second hand book stall at the school today and for the first time since my eldest started i remembered to go and get her some books. A lot cheaper now that i have 2 at high school. Then i went out for a skinny, spicey chai latte.
By this time i was in the minus 3 hundred and something cals, so it was a good start to have my 'free day'.

It wasn't bad as far as free days go. I stopped counting the cals after the spicey chai, but i hope to 'abuse' my freedom less next Saturday.
Now to keep my willpower in control until then. It's something i haven't really been too forceful with in a while.

There's been a group therapy session in our main thread today, so all in all, i am feeling pretty good with myself.

Edit i don't feel as guilty today because of the mindset of a 'free day'

Have a good one.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

re-learning the old things

So! I'm feeling a little out of control at the moment.
My gym sessions have fallen to 3-4 times a week (instead of 6).....i went today though. Too much crap associated with this time of year, the normal raising a family issues, plus a few mishaps involving my sons fractured arm and metal imbeded in my hubbys eye......well everyone has these times.
My food has been up and down. a couple of days good, then a bad one and lets start all over again.
Then there is reading a few things about regarding losing weight that just get you down sometimes. (no, i'm not talking about any car crashes on CK)

So i've been feeling pretty crappy. Will i ever get there??? you know how it goes.

Today i finished up at the gym when no-one else was about. So i started chatting to the trainer about where i am at, mentally.
She spoke to me about not concentrating on info others are given. All it does is put you in a negative frame of mind.
She told me that doing my workouts 3-4 times a weeks was fine for seeing results, especially as she sees how hard i work. (93 visits.....7 more and i get my name on the wall)
Now here comes the part i already knew, but was not good at practicing.....
Up my 3 meals a day to 5 smaller meals a day. I mean, we all know this but i really struggle to fulfill it.
Now i am not going into the specifics as we all know them, but today it just made sense.
She also brought up the 'naughty day' It was Saturdays for me and she told me to start them up again. This made sense as well.
in the beginning...... well i used to be good all week to have a few 'naughty' things on Saturday. Sometimes i struggled to get back on track for Sunday though and i even found some times when i skidded into Monday. Which is why i stopped doing it.
But now....with no day to look foward to i find that i have less reason to be good - if you know what i mean. So i keep slipping. There is no thought of....not today, wait until Saturday.
I'm going to try this until christmas and see how it goes.

For now my weight keeps bouncing around. Up a kilo or 2, down a kilo or 2. Hence not changing anything for a while
(please help me be good, please help me be good )
Fingers crossed