My weekend

Hi everyone.
Well i have had an ok weekend. Due to too much life things going on i have only eaten 1500 cals over the weekend when i am supposed to have 2000 per day. You know where that got me, so dizzy in the shower i had to go and lay on the bed for 10mins feeling like i was going to pass out. And i didn't even have that 10 mins to spare.

Because of being too busy the only food i could get my hands on was stuff i didn't want to put in my body. Note to self, restock pantry with healthier food. I haven't had time to shop properly either. I am having another busy weekend this week too so i am going to plan better for this weekend, planning is my friend.

On the positive side, i have been plodding along waiting for my 'click' moment. I have had this moment only once before and it was the time i was most sucessful. I still haven't found it. I DON'T NEED IT!. When i have had a snack i haven't been worried, just worked the cals in to my diary and made sure i exercised a bit more if i was a little over my cal budget. Everybody says, 'It's a lifestyle change". But it felt like a saying, nothing more. Now though i am starting to get it. The 'click' moment is just that - a moment. This feels like my life now.

3 course calorie blowout.

Hi all
Well as the topic title says i will be having a calorie blowout today.
Hubby is making me a 3 course meal for dinner(feel bloated already).
Soup, Stir - fry and cheesecake. I only joined on Thursday and he's had this planned for a while, so i haven't pushed for something healthier. _I wont look a gift horse in the mouth.
He is preparing the soup as i type and it does smell yummy. I'm having a giggle as my daughter is helping and i can hear words like pizzaz and presentation thrown around out there.
On the plus side i've allowed some room as i have only had a salad for lunch (Made him have one also) and i am taking the kids out for a walk to the beach. If it is way over cal budget when i enter everything into the diary, i might do a bit of cal cycling to get everything in order for my weigh in day on friday. He is making an effort to make it a bit healthier. Not using oil and such. The cheesecake will kill me though. I'm not one for desserts so it'll be easier for me to have a smaller slice -just palm the rest off to him, LMAO.
Happy Mother's Day to the mothers here.
And
Happy Woman's Day to those yet to have, have lost, are valued Aunts etc...
We are all unique and therefore we are all special and have something to contribute.

'Even if you're on the right track, you're going to get run over if you just sit there'

Beginning

OMG this is so scary.. Being overweight for me has always been about hiding. Hiding behind baggy clothes, others in photos, alcohol for a bit of courage on social occasions. Hiding, hiding hiding. Still now i am hiding behind a screen name but i can't bring myself to make that final step. Although i have now advertised my weight on here. It even took me till xmas last year (and more alcohol) to tell my hubby of 9 years(partner of 14 -it's also important for me to add that coz we lived together since 1 year in) to tell him my real weight.
I'm not really sure where it started. I was a dancer for all my child hood until 15. I was super skinny and could eat everything and anything. Due to the school finishing i had to stop my dancing, and i guess the love of finally being able to spend time with my mates and being less active and still eating what i needed to when my energy outake was higher, i know this happened here. But most people i know have some sort of emotional trigger. This doesn't seem like enough.
So here i am on the threshold of my cupboard, taking little baby steps.
This is my beginning! I weigh 149 kgs. I am now no longer content to just watch life, i want to live it