Quote of the week.

~What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?

~ (I don't know)

With a little help from....

as well as.....

Who am i?

My photo
I'm a wife and a mother of 4. I began my 'journey' at 149+ kilos. 8 weeks ago i finally broke the magical barrier of 130 that had confounded me for so long and weighed in at 129.2. Stupid me though, i self sabotaged again and let family issues close me off to the world and i am now 134.6 again and rareing to do anything it takes to get back into new territory.

Friday, December 28, 2007

2.4kg gain.

I took 3 days off for chrissie. All planned. But with my yummy homemade potato salad and cheesy sausage rolls, plus trifle and lots of alcohol............oh and TTOTM. But i am back, exactly when i said i would be, no extra sneaky days or anything. Oh and i forgot ....the cheese....boy how i have missed the camembert and the scrolls of herbed cheese. Ate way to much of that. Now i planplanning has never come easy to me, to go right back to the beginning. Not only reording all my food everyday.....i always left it for the weekends and back to blogging more often. Whatever i did in the beginning that got me off to a flying start. I've reset my kilos lost to 0 - well actually -2.4. 2008 here i come!

Sunday, December 9, 2007

Good vibes.

Dang i feel good. I've had a great day both food and exercise wise. Just finished off my first week of C25K That's 2 positive checks against my list. I've tightened the belt so to speak in regards to what i am doing, going back to what i did exercise wise in the beginning so i'm not sure if i'll start the second week of C25K. Out has come the exercise vids and the old platform step. Although i gained 500g this week and i am still baouncing around the same mark- very sure i am just maintaining, i have lost in the inches department. Almost a quarter off everything My calves are very tight this week as a result of all that running i am sure, they really hate me right now. I've come up with something for next year.... in my sig i am going to have a 2007 weight loss total and then start from scratch for 2008. That way the 0 weightloss will eat at me and hopefully push me further. I have said no to all the little naughties today, something i am very proud of seeing as i lost the ability to say that word for quite a while now. And if by chance you happen to see my sig in the new year and find there is no 2007/2008 total, you'll know i became a scardy cat and chickened out. Either way, i will be here next year


The list

A 10 mins straight on the eliptical trainer.-------I could do this before but haven't been on this dreaded machine in 3 months.
B 20 mins straight on the eliptical trainer.
C 30 mins straight on the eliptical trainer.
D 1st week of C25K
E 2nd week of C25K
F 3rd week of C25K
G 4th week of C25k
H 5th week of C25K
I 6th week of C25K
J 7th week of C25K
K 8th weeks of C25K
L 9th week of C25K
M 10% of weightloss reached
N 20% of weight loss reached
O 30% of weightloss reached
P 10 mins straight of Tae bo.
Q 20 mins straight Tae bo.
R 30 mins straight of Tae bo.

EDIT I earned my big thumbs up for 10 mins on the cross trainer today. Got my heart rate up to 178 and i was going to try and push on to 20 mins but for the last half minute my knees kept acting like jelly.Oh well, 1 step at a time.

Monday, December 3, 2007

My new checklist.

Well my mojo is flowing slightly higher than it has been in months but it's still not in full swing. So i've come up with a check list-idea pilfered from a friend Hopefully checking things off will help with this. I must add i am using this in regards to exercise not mini goals. Although i do way more exercise now then i did at the start of the year i am starting to feel i am not pushing myself hard enough. I'm a little sporadic, and usually stick to the same things so my body needs a shakeup. I was going to wait and put these down as new years resolutions but why wait.....So here goes.

A 10 mins straight on the eliptical trainer.-------I could do this before but haven't been on this dreaded machine in 3 months.
B 20 mins straight on the eliptical trainer.
C 30 mins straight on the eliptical trainer.
D 1st week of C25K
E 2nd week of C25K
F 3rd week of C25K
G 4th week of C25k
H 5th week of C25K
I 6th week of C25K
J 7th week of C25K
K 8th weeks of C25K
L 9th week of C25K
M 10% of weightloss reached
N 20% of weight loss reached
O 30% of weightloss reached
P 10 mins straight of Tae bo.
Q 20 mins straight Tae bo.
R 30 mins straight of Tae bo.

I'll probably add to this as i started to check things off. Well hopefully.

Edit I did the first session of C25k. I feel great, ankles are a little sore but not too much and i sweated like a pig My dog nearly put me off though, between trying to jump on me as i went and emitting obnoxious odours
Just realised i have already reached 1 goal without realising it. I'm looking to get down to 65. 149-65=84. 10% of that being 8.4. Yay me.


Sunday, December 2, 2007

A free woman.

So last Friday saw me get the ok to be free of my arm brace. My tendon is almost fully healed and i have only 1 more appointment which is in 2 weeks just to check on the strength of my hand. I am now allowed back in the pool and i've been told i can start using my hand weights again, as long as i start off small. The best thing is not wearing the brace at night. Sleeping next to hubby is like sleeping with a furnace and my arm gets so sweaty. I can make a fist and everything but i am surprised so see how i can't make it as tight as the other hand so there's work to be done there.

Lately i have been seriously considering doing boot camps in the new year so i thought i'd take myself down to a private quiet beach to see how i'd go. Um yeahhhhh no So not ready. I got my heart rate right up, usually at 160-180 but i had to keep stopping and starting. I couldn't keep myself going. I was a bit scared with my HR hitting 180, i figure the 160 area was a great position though so it's time to get focused on cardio. I'm going to restart the C25K program this week. Wish me luck

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

My seven deadly weight loss inhibiting sins.

What's going on?
Well i've been see-sawing between 4 kilos for 2 months now. So i have started thinking about what's going wrong. What i'm doing wrong or just not doing right.

Firstly - Preperation.
In the beginning there was homework Working out meals so that when i went shopping i was prepared. Now i buy healthy meat, veg/salad and fruit but with not knowing what to cook, my meals don't always end up so healthy.
What i'll do. Look for recipes at least 2 days before shopping
Secondly - Snack attack.
I've stopped buying healthy snacks thinking i can just skip snack times but i either can't and end up grabbing something high fat/ carb / sodium from the pantry or don't have one which leaves me way under in cals.
What i'll do. Add snacks to my shopping list and even start making low fat muffins etc... to keep around the house and pack for kids lunches so crap isn't so available.
Thirdly - Exercise
I've been exercising soooooo much and my already low cals becomes even lower. I'm not an eat back cal kind of girl.
What i'll do. If i burn off too many cals i'm going to have to eat back some cals. Enough to make sure i don't go below 1500 net cals ( i'm eating 1950)
Fourthly - No brekkie
Grrr we all know the bad here.
What i'll do. EAT BREAKFAST
Fifthly - No mojo.
I've lost my spark. Where has it gone? I think it's related to my stalemate and hope i will get this back when i get everything else under control.
What i'll do. Hold on until it comes back and start re-watching my Biggest Loser tapes until i find my mojo.
Sixthly - No change
All my exercising is walking and step at the moment. Not proper step class though and i guess i may not be pushing myself enough. I can't swim either at the moment(grrr) and i've not done any Tae - bo or areobics in ages. Plus i am out in the weights area too. I can't wait to get back into swimming and weights.
What i'll do. Mix it up. Challenge different muscle groups on different days and combine with different cardio workouts.
Seventhly - Low H20
I'm not drinking enough water which means i am not flushing out enough toxins and sodium. I must admit the closer i get to weigh in day the less i drink. Like i think it'll still be hanging round for weigh in.
What i'll do.Simple - drink up.

My mini goals for getting my mojo back.
Get back under 135 and stay there for at least 2 weeks in a row.
Get under 134. (This gets me 10% og my body weight lost - Thanks Rammette )
To lose 2 kilos in a month and keep it there.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Operation snapped tendon !

Well i am one hand typing. I have just gotten back having my op for a snapped tendon. I'm in a cast for the next 6 weeks. That means no more push ups and no swimming so i'll fail those goals on my spreadsheet. I can still do sit ups and crunches though as hands are not needed and i don't pull on my neck so it doesn't matter if one is missing from behind my head. I'll have to see with lunges as i usually balance with one hand on a wall or chair. I've been at the hosp since 6 this morn and have only gotten in 2200 steps so far Can't believe such a small little thing that didn't even hurt has been so much trouble.
The good thing is i could give a weight that was almost 15kg lighter than the start of the year. My blood pressure and heart rate was taken and i was told it was all in a healthy range and after had good circulation flowing through my fingers. I'm going to be using the fact that i had to disclose my weight, wear a hospital gown that didn't close and be wheeled about in a wheelchair with the poor nurse huffing and puffing as fuel to drive me further. Oh, and needing arm bits put onto the narrow operating table as i took up the bed and had nowhere to place my arms. Another plus is that everything went smoothly, woke up 20 mins later with no nausea or dizziness and was ready to go home then and there. Healthy living yeah! They thought my weight might cause probs as the couple of guys who went in before set all the surgerys back quite a while due to complications.

Anyway, enough now. Just feeling very happy and proud of my new healthy lifestyle.

Friday, October 12, 2007

Weigh in day

Lost another kilo this week. I know i have worked hard on the exercise front. The food area wasn't the best so i'll have to tighten that up next week. I feel like i have been sweating for the whole week and my ankles are starting to feel a little tired. I may let up a bit for the weekend. Not sure though as i am hopefully going in to have an op on Sunday so i may have to move a bit at least on Saturday to make up for it. I;m feeling really positive. I'm going away next week and i sooooo wanted to be in the 34's for when i did. Just because i made it already though, i need to make sure i don't slip into that frame of mind that i can slacken off a bit. I'm going away on a bus trip and i have no control over my lunch's and dinners save to pick one choice over the other. I have planned to do a lot of walking and will probably do sit ups, push ups and squats in the hotel room. I'm sharing with my mum and she is so proud of me so i know she wont mind. Just need to remember to get up early and do it before i shower so that i don't feel sweaty all day
Oh and Rammette was lovely and informed me that when i lose another 700g i will have lost 10% of my body weight. How inspiring is that


Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Week 22

So last Monday i cut my hand open. Went and had a shot on Tuesday to make sure and was very happy that it seemed my healthy living was paying off as my hand had almost healed. The cut was deep and wide but the swelling had forced it to close well and with the swelling still lingering my cut is almost non exsistant. I was sooooo happy because i normally scar very badly. 2 days ago i noticed the swelling was hot. I didn't think anything of it.

Well yesterday, after messing around with the dog, i settled him down and then kind of flicked my wrist and something popped! My finger dropped and my hand swelled up like a balloon. So i spent last night in A&E. 6 hours It took 5 of them to get to see someone and as it was a Tuesday it was pretty quiet. They think that when i cut my hand i nicked something that is now leaking the lubricating oils needed in my hand. I have to go back in this morning. My finger is just hanging and looks so freaky that my 9 y0 son thinks i am very cool And the heat in the swelling seems to be an infection, even though the affected area is a nice pink, not an angry red.

Sorry to say i only did 5200 steps yesterday as i was planning on going for a walk last night but got stuck elsewhere instead.

Friday, October 5, 2007

Week 21

What a great week, beautiful weather, lots of exercise and a loss of 1.2 kilos.
I have also lost 9 cms on various parts of the body. Finally a good loss on my calves.....1 full cm, plus 1 each from my upper arm, neck and breast and 3 off the waist. A few 1/2 cms are in there too.

I am feeling fully motivated. Lovely Julie has set up a spreadsheet where we put in our goals for the month eg, how many push-ups, sit-ups, how many cals we want to burn and mins exercise we want to do, i am so thankful she put in her own time and effort to help others. It has really been pushing me this week after having a few slack ones. I feel like i am on fire. I have noticed my calves don't have that jelly wobble anymore. I was always proud that they hardly wobbled anyway but at the moment i can slap it around and it is just solid.
Now to work on the thighs, urg squats Losing a bit on my upper arms is great as well. I am always hiding these. I guess the push-ups and free weights is working there too.
Now to get started for the next weigh in

Sunday, September 30, 2007

Getting back in the saddle.

I haven't blogged for ages. Things have been muddled. A chaotic mind seems to lead to a chaotic life. I have regained 4 kilos this month, bad september. It is my birthday next month and i am hoping to be back under 134. Even if by just 100g. I need to find that focus that was with me when i began my journey.
So back to blogging, and making sure i log into my food diary every day. I have been slack with that for the last few weeks also. Funny how i manage to log my exercise cals though. Beginning on this path is hard and i will not give up now and find my hard work wasted.My exercise is better than ever before but i am struggling on the food side. Since i started i have not had such a problem. Where is the 'it's not worth it' attitude. Maybe thats what i should be saying to myself before i put something into my mouth. Do i really want this?

I have been listening to a song off Kelly Clarksons new album. It's called sober, but i find a few lines really apply to this journey...........

"And I don't know
I could crash and burn but maybe
At the end of this road I might catch a glimpse of me"

And that's the simple truth. I know a lot of people say they get surprised when they see themselves in a mirror or photo. That they are larger than they thought. Me too.
That is because deep down inside I don't feel like an obese person. Well, i have decided i am not, and soon my outside will reflect my inside.

Friday, August 31, 2007

The weight war!

Well i have lost another 400g this week. That makes 13.9 all up. But i made a little mistake when putting in my check in and by placing a 1 instead of a 5 - talking to my children at the same time, must be a bad multi-tasking day today, and now my stats say -------> I WISH it was real. But i hate it saying this when i haven't earnt it. I was once going to record my previous days weight as i woke up with TTOTM bloat. But i couldn't do it. You think....no one will know. But lying to yourself just doesn't work anymore, i am too old for that now.
Do you know i feel like i have already won my weight war. It is just how long it takes that needs to be decided on. The more i be good, the faster it will happen, the more bad times i have, the longer it takes. But it will be won, i have no doubt.

Have fun.

Friday, August 17, 2007

I did it, I did it ----- FINALLY

Yayyyyy, dance with me peoples.

After nearly four weeks of seesawing over the same 2 kilos i have finally broken through. 1.7 kilos. I am rapt. I don't know what else to say at the moment but i am very bloody happy. My motivation is higher then it has been in weeks and i am feeling more positive, well especially after jumping on the scales.

That makes 13.4 kilos all up now so i am getting close to the 15 mark.
I really felt that i was starting to let it all slip away and was just happy that i was seesawing and not just putting on without taking off. I need to remember for other low motivation times and plateaus that as long as i can hold my ground everything will be allright. And i guess that even if i put on a few kilos, to try and grab hold of the reigns before the horse bolts completely.

I hope everyone else is having a great day

Friday, August 10, 2007


Someone kick me in the butt! No i mean it. I am diddling around. I have sat on the edge of the wagon before but i can't get myself to jump on now. All i am doing is running beside it.
I know nobody can make everything better, but i am hoping that something that someone says will resonate with me and help me pull myself together. So people, please tell me what i am fighting for! I am drowning here. I am constantly feeling that i am failing at something, and when i focus properly i know that this is it! I am just finding it hard to focus. Life keeps interupting! Does anyone ever feel like this. I knos that i am not lost, just misplaced, but i need to find my path!

Monday, July 16, 2007

Utter misery

Well i had an ok weekend. It wasn't great but it wasn't bad. But now i am in utter misery. I have a massive toothache and it is killing me. I have even resorted to taking panadol and i never take pills. I know i am going to hit my daily water amount today as i am drinking it like a mad woman, holding it in my mouth to numb the nerves until it warms up. My stomach is screaming at me because it is starving and all i could force down was a dry piece of toast. It's my fault it's acting up. Shouldn't have had those sweet alcoholic drinks on the weekend. Now i am paying big time. Can someone come and put me to sleep? I'd like to wake up next year.

Friday, July 13, 2007

Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes

Well as the title says Y_E_S!

I am back baby. After a sluggish 2 weeks i really thought i was losing my grip but not so. I am feeling so good with myself after dropping 2.3kg.
Even though i am supposed to be consuming 2000 cals per day i usually stick to about 1500 and i struggle to get there. But this last week i hit 2000 at least 3 times. It must have given my body a wake up call.


Tuesday, July 10, 2007

New habits?

Well i seem to be back! I'm not feeling highly motivated, i'm not feeling low motivation. I just feel like doing the right exercise and eating the right amount of cals. I'm hoping for a good weightloss this week and i am working towards that end.
Maybe all this is becoming habit i don't know. Just to keep me in the right frame of mind, i am rewatching all the biggest loser series that i have recorded from the very first american one and i have been slack in updating my scrap books and have much to sort out.
My scrap books are where i buy slimming mag every month, sometimes even the weight watchers one, and i cut out the recipes, exercises and gym info, tidbits and any motivation story that takes my interest. Now i have an almost full exercise and recipe book. The tidbits and motivation will still be alright for a while.
Doing this keeps me focused on my goal and stops me from being bored and resorting to old habits. I guess that makes my emotional trigger boredom huh!
Good luck to my fellow losers, heres hoping we all have good weeks.

To those who have offered me support through my last lazy two weeks, thank -you very much , your support has been priceless and i am still here because of you. You know who you are

Thursday, July 5, 2007

Nothing much

Just uploading my before piccies. It's scary but it needs to be done.
I need constant reminding of what i am here to do. The photo's makes me see the real me which i've been deluding myself about. Too late to go back now, it's Done.
It's really needed right now as i am slipping slowly but surely into old bad eating habits. But i can't do this anymore. I need to remember how nice it is to clasp my fingers and feel how much thinner they are. I know 10kgs isn't the only thing that has helped this that it is also the fact i have less fluid retention due to eating less salt.
what other things do i need to remember? I don't know, too many things. I do feel positive though even though my motivation is low, weird!
So hopefully if i have done everything right you will be able to see my before photos. Sorry for the late night ramblings. No need to comment.

Bye for now

Tuesday, July 3, 2007

The wagon

So i am feeling really good at the moment. I feel like i have managed to pull myself fully onto the wagon. My muscles are telling me they've had a nice work out. I haven't eaten badly and i'm not feeling like i could eat everything in sight.
I've just read the self sabotage article in this weeks CalKing university and it made sense to me. Hopefully there wont be another slip up for a while.

Monday, July 2, 2007

Self sabotage

Well, the heading sums it up quite well, i had a bad BAD weekend. Too many social activites which i couldv'e handled better but didn't. Take away food and calorie heavy wine has registered on the scales like i new it would. 1.5kgs in a weekend. I think that such a heavy gain means that some of last weeks weight loss was fluid. I don't weigh in till Friday so i am hoping to lower that number down to 1kg.
My worst fear is that little by little i am slipping off the wagon. I don't want to fall back into old habits but i am having a few more treats now than i was when i started. I don't know if this bodes ill or if it was because i started so gung ho and so strict and we all know it can't continue like that for too long.
I also didn't have a lot of time for entering data into my food diary last week. So where as in the last few weeks i'd work out if i could afford my treat, last week i just ate mostly healthy, had the treats without doing the math, so i guess it could be a bit of both.
Jeez i really hate TTOTM, it really knocked me out of whack. I need a plan for next time.

Friday, June 29, 2007

Do a little dance


So i weighed in today, and i am finally away from the 140's yayyyyyyyyyyy
Doing the dance of joy. Actually to register 10kg with CK i need to lose another 100g, but when i signed up i didn't realise you could put in the hundred grams (I was 149.4) so i rounded it, down because it was below the 5. So in my heart i know i've lost 10.3kg and that's important to me. I rarely made it to 10kg when i've tried before.

Just to remind myself, although i started seriously when i found CK 7 weeks ago, i was working towards this since Oct last year. I started swimming twice a week and the 10,000 steps program all by myself. Must have been a funny sight to my poor hubby to find me walking backwards and forwards in the lounge. I had read about needing 10,000 steps per day to be active enough and seeing as i clocked in at 145kg i knew i needed to at least make a start, even though i wasn't yet ready for a lifestyle change at that juncture.

When i found mention of the CK site on the net i had not been doing this for about four months, so this came along when i really needed it.

Hey that means i've lost nearly 16kg since Oct last year.

What IS important to me though is that i have been living a healthy lifestyle for 7 weeks now and i am feeling great! Even been drinking a cup of green tea every day and let me tell you -yuck!

Well, gotta fly, got to make a start on the next 10kg.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Worse than i thought

So i've looked at everyones blogs and seen some amazing before and after photos. I've always planned on doing that but i lost my card reader and as yet i am not able to upload any photos. So i hadn't taken them.

Well now i have and OMG, it's worse than i thought. I was wearing my gym clothes and i have a tiny little head on a huge body. I'm used to seeing myself in mirrors but after taking the photos from all sides i got a 3D perspective. The good thing is that i was having a weak few days with my motivation and looking at my pics got me back on track. As soon as i can i will upload the pics so i am constantly motivated everytime i log in, which is 2 - 3 times a day.

On the plus side i have realised my low motivation and wanting to cram every edible thing into my mouth was due to TTOTM. It's good to have a reason for feeling so out of control.

10 kilos down, many, MANY more to go.

Saturday, June 9, 2007

Bird brained idea

Okay, someone slap me upside the head next time i get another bird brained idea.
A 3km bushwalk HAH! Help me i'm dying! It was good that it only took my four kids and I 2hrs and 10 mins to do the 2hr walk. After all i am so unfit it is not funny. But to find out when i enter it into my diary that the cals burnt are equal to that of 30 mins in step class DOH!

My poor youngest was sooo happy at the start, but just before the halfway break she had had enough. Her little legs didn't want to walk anymore. And the fact that the last half a km was all stairs.........(It was one and a half a km there, 3km round trip, so 1 km of stairs all up). Starting back i thought i was an idiot who had bitten of more than she could chew. I also felt so sorry for my kids who had to slow right down with all my stopping and starting i did on the stairs. THIS HAS TO CHANGE.

I made it though, and i didn't die. I am so proud of myself and i think my kids are too.I have had an ankle injury for the past 2 weeks and my eldest 2 kids we arguing about who could give me a massage. Then hubby took over, ohhhhhh the pain.
I am logging off now as i have to pass out!

Friday, June 1, 2007

Today i cried......Happy tears

So 2 days ago i started a step DVD and thought to myself -self, do fifteen mins every 2 days at the low intensity range recommended, ie the floor.

So i did that on Wednesday, on top of my at least half hour walking.
Then i did it again on Thursday, so i was feeliong pretty good about myself. I even checked my pulse after the 15mins to make sure everything was right there. Yep all OK.
Today after checking in and finding i had lost another kilo i felt motivated enough to go again using the lowest part of my step. WOW o WOW!!!
I started crying happy tears when i realised i had gotten through 12 mins of it with 3 mins left. My muscles were aching, sweat was streaming down my face(something which didn't happen the previous 2 times)and i started breathing harder after only a couple of mins. My pulse check told me i was right at the top of my ok range, i cooled down, drank some water and even now feel so euphoric.

I just can't believe i cried without being sad, FOR MYSELF! What is this thing i am feeling.....pride? I can't get rid of my smile.

Monday, May 28, 2007

My weekend

Hi everyone.
Well i have had an ok weekend. Due to too much life things going on i have only eaten 1500 cals over the weekend when i am supposed to have 2000 per day. You know where that got me, so dizzy in the shower i had to go and lay on the bed for 10mins feeling like i was going to pass out. And i didn't even have that 10 mins to spare.

Because of being too busy the only food i could get my hands on was stuff i didn't want to put in my body. Note to self, restock pantry with healthier food. I haven't had time to shop properly either. I am having another busy weekend this week too so i am going to plan better for this weekend, planning is my friend.

On the positive side, i have been plodding along waiting for my 'click' moment. I have had this moment only once before and it was the time i was most sucessful. I still haven't found it. I DON'T NEED IT!. When i have had a snack i haven't been worried, just worked the cals in to my diary and made sure i exercised a bit more if i was a little over my cal budget. Everybody says, 'It's a lifestyle change". But it felt like a saying, nothing more. Now though i am starting to get it. The 'click' moment is just that - a moment. This feels like my life now.

Sunday, May 13, 2007

3 course calorie blowout.

Hi all
Well as the topic title says i will be having a calorie blowout today.
Hubby is making me a 3 course meal for dinner(feel bloated already).
Soup, Stir - fry and cheesecake. I only joined on Thursday and he's had this planned for a while, so i haven't pushed for something healthier. _I wont look a gift horse in the mouth.
He is preparing the soup as i type and it does smell yummy. I'm having a giggle as my daughter is helping and i can hear words like pizzaz and presentation thrown around out there.
On the plus side i've allowed some room as i have only had a salad for lunch (Made him have one also) and i am taking the kids out for a walk to the beach. If it is way over cal budget when i enter everything into the diary, i might do a bit of cal cycling to get everything in order for my weigh in day on friday. He is making an effort to make it a bit healthier. Not using oil and such. The cheesecake will kill me though. I'm not one for desserts so it'll be easier for me to have a smaller slice -just palm the rest off to him, LMAO.
Happy Mother's Day to the mothers here.
Happy Woman's Day to those yet to have, have lost, are valued Aunts etc...
We are all unique and therefore we are all special and have something to contribute.

'Even if you're on the right track, you're going to get run over if you just sit there'

Friday, May 11, 2007


OMG this is so scary.. Being overweight for me has always been about hiding. Hiding behind baggy clothes, others in photos, alcohol for a bit of courage on social occasions. Hiding, hiding hiding. Still now i am hiding behind a screen name but i can't bring myself to make that final step. Although i have now advertised my weight on here. It even took me till xmas last year (and more alcohol) to tell my hubby of 9 years(partner of 14 -it's also important for me to add that coz we lived together since 1 year in) to tell him my real weight.
I'm not really sure where it started. I was a dancer for all my child hood until 15. I was super skinny and could eat everything and anything. Due to the school finishing i had to stop my dancing, and i guess the love of finally being able to spend time with my mates and being less active and still eating what i needed to when my energy outake was higher, i know this happened here. But most people i know have some sort of emotional trigger. This doesn't seem like enough.
So here i am on the threshold of my cupboard, taking little baby steps.
This is my beginning! I weigh 149 kgs. I am now no longer content to just watch life, i want to live it