Quote of the week.

~What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?

~ (I don't know)

With a little help from....

as well as.....

Who am i?

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I'm a wife and a mother of 4. I began my 'journey' at 149+ kilos. 8 weeks ago i finally broke the magical barrier of 130 that had confounded me for so long and weighed in at 129.2. Stupid me though, i self sabotaged again and let family issues close me off to the world and i am now 134.6 again and rareing to do anything it takes to get back into new territory.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Self sabotage

Self sabotage.....how do you figure out the causes behind it, so you can do your best to never do it again?

I have had a great week. Kept up my food diary and personal blogging, I feel good, my exercise has been good and my fluid has gone. The things i normally have to steel myself against i found easy to walk past. No potato chips, no dips...... I had potato chips in the house for the kids and i worried i might falter so i asked my hubby to take the pkt in his car so i wouldn't even be tempted. But it didn't matter.....i survived yesterday and even today without even touching them - though i did think of them today But today....... I faltered when i wasn't even walking down the same (metaphorical) street as my problem foods.

I went out to help my mother with the last of her shopping and to buy my girls some pretty hair things, and it's my turn to shout the coffees. Normally i have a skinny spicy chai latte, but i had one yesterday and the nutrition info was fresh in my mind so i decided that a flat skinny white would be better cal wise. My brother was with us and a tad hungry so i brought him a bowl of hot chips with gravy. My mother was picking from his bowl so i said i'd buy her some. She suggested i go halves with her and i agreed. To be honest, as soon as his food came out i was thinking the same thing, they smelled sooooo yummy.

So i was thinking, alright, i can save this. It was a small bowl, and we did go halves. If i went extra careful for the rest of the day i could salvage it. But then came crap fatty food for afternoon tea as well as dinner. WHY?

It's not the first time and it wont be the last. But i have no idea why i do these things. I mean, sure i know i doubt that i can really succeed, but there needs to be some other trigger.
I've stopped reading when i eat - my biggest downfall.
I've taken note of someone elses research about Stopping at the sigh. I notice this most of the time and stop when i do.

I'm seeing my mojo spark in the distance.....It's not close enough yet for me to be cartwheeling and splitting over but if i can get this under control.....well I may just win my battle.
What a thought.


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