Beginning

OMG this is so scary.. Being overweight for me has always been about hiding. Hiding behind baggy clothes, others in photos, alcohol for a bit of courage on social occasions. Hiding, hiding hiding. Still now i am hiding behind a screen name but i can't bring myself to make that final step. Although i have now advertised my weight on here. It even took me till xmas last year (and more alcohol) to tell my hubby of 9 years(partner of 14 -it's also important for me to add that coz we lived together since 1 year in) to tell him my real weight.
I'm not really sure where it started. I was a dancer for all my child hood until 15. I was super skinny and could eat everything and anything. Due to the school finishing i had to stop my dancing, and i guess the love of finally being able to spend time with my mates and being less active and still eating what i needed to when my energy outake was higher, i know this happened here. But most people i know have some sort of emotional trigger. This doesn't seem like enough.
So here i am on the threshold of my cupboard, taking little baby steps.
This is my beginning! I weigh 149 kgs. I am now no longer content to just watch life, i want to live it